I think I never enjoyed a holiday to it’s fullest until I had children…

Taylor on a Zebra

Chandler on a Cheetah (or Leopard???) 

Note the fancy coat!  It’s only been in her closet for 2 years!

Chandler at Mission Beach, San Diego

Summer 2008

Looking forward toour next beach trip

School Official (SO): “Uh, Chandler’s in the office and she says her mouth tastes like butt.”
Me: “Like what???”
SO: “Like butt… What did you give her to brush her teeth with this morning?”
Me: “Foot cream.”
SO: “Oh, then her mouth tastes like foot.”
Background noise - Crowd laughing and Chandler’s animated voice leading a story
Me: “She not sick though, is she?”
SO: “Uh, (laughing at Chandler’s entertainment) no, not really.”
Me: “Okay, tell her that if I come and get her, I will take to the hospital to have her stomach pumped”
SO: “Okay, hang on she’s telling us a story.”  Laughing.  “Chandler, your Mom says she can come and get you but she will have to take you to the hospital to have your stomach pumped.”
Chandler: “Um, no. Tell her I would rather go to the doctor, not to the hospital.”
SO: “No Honey, you have to go the the hospital, the doctor can’t take care of it.”
Chandler: “Okay, tell her to come and get me and we’ll go have my stomach pumped.”
Me: “Holy crap! Now what do I do?”
Laughing through out the office.

Thank you to DB the school official who convinced her to go back to class.

*Rewind to 8:05am*

We have to leave in the next 10 minutes or Chandler will be arriving to class with a tardy slip. Not such a good thing when you rely on volunteering and good attendance to get a transfer to the best (local) public school every year. So why hasn’t she brushed her teeth already! Okay out of toothpaste, no problem. As a Mom I am trained to multi-task.  I am convinced for someone like me, with no history of multi-tasking, this is an asset that was bestowed to me shortly after childbirth. One of the several gifts new Mothers often get after giving birth. Oh sure there is the baby(s) but there is also the hemorrhoids, the large swollen achy and lactating breasts, the lack of bladder control, the stretchmarks,never getting to sleep soundly again and multi-tasking… to name a few.

So as I am getting Taylor ready and Chandler asks for more toothpaste.  I open the drawer that usually holds the girls extra toothpaste, floss picks, and toothbrushes and I grab a tube and send her on her way…

“I do not like this new toothpaste” she says to me upon returning and um, by the look on her face I’m thinking “what the???”.  Oh no, foot cream? Really? I’m thinking Mother of the Year is gonna pass me by yet again this year.

Now what? Call poison control? We don’t have time for poison control.  We have to get that damn transfer!   So like a good Mom, I load her into the car and instruct her to drink about a gallon of water and call me immediately if she gets a bellyache.  Then I shove her out of the car and into the school yard with an “I love you, honey.  Have a good day”.  Not what you would have done?

Now in the quiet drive home (yeah right, I still have Taylor),  the guilt sets in… But really how much could she have swallowed? I mean, lets face it, she’s about as likely to score “Toothbrusher of the Year” as I am going to score “Mother of the Year”, so I’m thinking the minuscule amount that she put on, coupled by the fact that she does actually spit not swallow (it’s the tom-boy thing) is actually working in my favor (yeah, finally something working in my favor!). But as a precaution I call the school to advise them that if she arrives in the office with any abdominal complaints to please call me immediately.  And then I explain the reason… to which they break into uncontrollable laughter. 

So not even an hour goes by and guess what? Chandler is in the office “sick”. One of the Ladies who helps out in the office and happens to live near our home (read: out of district) and is a big time Chandler fan calls and well now you know how that went.

You know,  I may actually get my transfers approved because we provide absolute comedic relief for the office staff. Seriously. They will never forget us.

Please note : No Children were hurt in creating this very amusing and entertaining post.

~Blondie

San Diego Zoo
Summer 2008

Although we don’t see each other enough… we think of you often… and cherish our time spent together

Just a quick post to update our situation here. 

The school that Chandler should be attending has just closed due to swine flu.  A local High School has also closed.  I realize this may be a sigh of relief that it is not Chandler’s school, but all the children in our area (rural, dirt roads) attend the school that has closed.  Creepy.

As I understand it the attendance in some of the classes at Chandler’s school is dramatically down (I drive her to school in a neighboring town, it is approx 20 miles away, 45-50 minutes round trip, twice a day).  We will see about sending her next week.  Her preference would be to stay home with me and Taylor and enroll in a home-school program.  Frankly, since we have not been informed of her acceptance for the school year 09-10, this could be the reality for us.  The school that she should be attending (the one that is now closed) has some of the worst test scores in the Valley, though they are making the most impressive improvements every year and will be a contender in the future.   But, we will not be going there.  And private school?  Yeah, I’ll just sell a kidney. Come to think of it, that might be easier and less painful than homeschooling…  Just kidding.  Or am I? 

 We knew when we moved from our old neighborhood five years ago (walking distance to a fantastic pre-school, and high ranking elementary, and middle schools and the top high school in the valley) that we were moving to a lesser school district with busing to the worst schools in the valley and that homeschooling was a possibility (wait, why did we move again?).  I guess that’s why it does not scare me much.  In fact  the idea that I could have control over her education and having the flexibility to learn on our terms, in our time-frame, and with no restrictions on attendance is refreshing.  I mean with classes at a 20 to 1 ratio now and class sizes expected to rise, how much time is really spent on task?  It’s not for everyone.  It may not be for us.  Honestly, I don’t know whether I want to see that acceptance letter or not.  But mostly, I just love the look on her face when she “gets” something.  It kinda sucks that the teacher that a student is randomly placed with gets to experience this instead of family.  And I miss her when she’s at school.  Usually.  Sometimes.  Mostly.

Now I have to go so I can do 12 loads of laundry, collect chicken eggs and scrub toilets.  That’s code for “I’m gonna watch tv and eat brownies until I go to pick her up”.  Just kidding again.  Or am I?

Chandler pool side

Taylor in the garden

Friday night we had friends over for dinner and while I was busy preparing things in the kitchen, my youngest daughter Chandler played the perfect hostess and took our guests down to see the chickens, the horses and to chase the ladybugs.  Cocktails in hand they obediently followed.  To the surprise of all Chandler discovered (and announced to all) that the horses were, er, wrestling? *wink*

Let me just add that J and J do not have kids or horses and there is just something profoundly funny about a man inadvertently witnessing horse porn (get a room already) while in the presence of a curious six year old! Awkward silence…

They arrived back in the kitchen in hysterics telling us about the horse-play (bud-um-bum-bum) they had just witnessed followed by an imaginative re-inaction by Chandler and giggles by all.  20 minutes later, after we had laughed, cried, snorted and nearly peed we looked around to find that, well she grew bored with watching us laugh like idiots and went off to occupy herself in her room.  Normalcy commenced, or as much normalcy as can be had in our house.

Then out came the little artist with this…

Needless to say, we all laughed/cried/snorted/nearly peed for another 20 minutes!

 Mise en place (pronounced miz a~n plas) is a french phrase used in the culinary world,  meaning everything in its place.  As in, you have everything in its place before you start…

Okay, so technically this little blog was to be up and running January 1st… uh, well - many things prevented that from happening.  You know it’s hard to find time when your mother of the year, have the perfectly organized home and the best behaved children (and husband) and in general the perfect- blah, blah, blah!  The reality is that taking this step has been a huge undertaking for me.  I thought I would be so organized, with a thesis and a functioning-train-of-thought, but not so much.  What I have is a desire to get going and a laundry list of content ideas.  So why take myself so seriously?  I don’t generally subscribe to the serious blog - it makes my eyes twitch and I yawn a lot.  Who wants that? 

I just want to have fun.

No time for mise en place - so here it is.  I am a food obsessed mother of 2, wife of 1 (sometimes I think mother of 1, wife of 2 might be easier…), I’m right brained - no left brained - uh, I often function with no brain.  My interests are very fragmented, intense and then fleeting (don’t laugh, I can’t be the only one) and I am simply complicated.

 Hypothetically,  some of my first posts will be about my girls, my chickens, my garden, the construction of my wood-fired oven and oh, my Mr. Perfect (seriously).  But really, when you suffer from ADD, MPD and OCD you really never know what will show up here…